Wind Biatch (cont'd)

Okay, so continuing with Tunnel of Fire (read previous post first). So with our eagerness to get to Finnfest and out of Hellfire Tunnel, we went into the first convention room we saw. In this room, about half the size of a football field, were 10 geriatrics and a polka band. Unfazed by this, Christopher marches up the front to secure us a table right next to the dance floor. Within two minutes, Christopher and Jessie were up on the massive dance floor (sparsely populated by three other couples), dancing to Finnish polka. Did it matter that they didn't know the steps? heck, no. That was their encouragement. After about 5 songs of about 2 minutes apiece, the band leader announces a tango. The other couples all sit down, but Jess and Christopher take to the empty dance floor. What ensured was the funniest 7 minutes of dancing to which I have ever borne witness. In a room full of 30 people (more had entered by this point), we being the only ones under the age of 80, Jessie and Christopher performed the sexiest, most elaborate and ridiculous tango on record. At one point Christopher picked up Jessie horizontally and spun her around in a 360. The highlight though was when Jessie broke off, walked backwards and beckoned Christopher to come to her while Christopher crawled across the dance floor toward her. Priceless. Afterward, about 3 different people came to ask the couple how long they'd been dancing together and where they learned to tango. The answers? 15 minutes and never, respectively.

Later that night, Christopher and Maki agreed to go to prom together. Considering I was banking on the fact that Christopher would be my date, Maki just made my hit list. The next night at dinner, we broke into an all-out catfight, involving flailing arms, pulling hair, and when Maki reached for my orange visor, well, I opened a can of whoop-ass on that. Plus some expletives.

Feeling lost and dejected in the aftermath of my trivial triumph against Maki (I mean, I still didn't have a date to prom), I decided to mix things up a little bit (this, after conspiring with some other trip members). It is a well-known fact that Dan and Kim are an item on the trip. Although it's never been formally announced, we do have footage of them making out on the plane right before jumping out (made all that much more hilarious by the fact that it's a subtle background shot; the camera was actually focused on Christopher at that point). Knowing that they probably hadn't discussed going to prom together, we formulated and executed a master plan.

This morning, right before everyone left the church on the ride, I said: "Can I have everyone's attention please? I would like to have your attention as I ask someone to prom." Then, I walked over to Dan, bent down on one knee, took his hand, and asked him to prom. Priceless. This is the one time on the trip when I wished I could be spectator and not participant. Needless to say, it was awkward and Kim was horrified as Dan reluctantly agreed to escort me to prom. But hey, it's not like he had to.

Later today, Kim said, "I'm not going to prom." Christopher, hearing this, replied sassily, "Good, then Kathy's getting laid." I wasn't actually there to hear it, but how priceless. I love it that bad attitudes about prom are getting met with sass. And ostracisation. You are lame if you don't come and actively participate in this prom.

Other than that, not much else happened in Duluth. Today we had an 85-mile ride into Grand Rapids that resembled riding through a tornado. Apparently a front was moving in from the west, creating serious winds. I'm so over getting mad about it, I just laugh. At one point we pulled over and took a video with Craig yelling over the wind as behind him the 2-foot tall grass bent to horizontal under its force.

I got in around 3:30, but my last post was interrupted as Dan took the van to take smoothies out the sweeps, who were way behind. Part of my motivation was to be there for the sweeps, who were heros for bringing everyone in today. Mostly though I just wanted to see the look on Kim's face when my prom date and I drove by in the van. Believe me, I am milking this for all it's worth.

Shazaam.