The Final Countdown

Before I write my closing comments on the Bike and Build trip, there's some things to cover.

Let's start by recapping some of the best quotes from the day we scaled Washington pass:

"(upon stepping from his sleeping quarters inside the van) Oh, it's raining?" -Brendan Newman

"Never a bad day to ride." -back of Craig's jacket
"What about today, you SOB?" -me

"Does anyone know if it's raining at lunch?" -John R., huddled in the bathroom, 10 miles from the lunch site
"Yes, John. I biked 10 miles down to the bottom of the pass and then came back here just so I could give you the weather report." -Joy

"(upon entering the bathroom with 10 freezing riders inside) Oh, you guys are cold? These German tourists just invited me into their trailer and gave me hot coffee." -Brendan Newman

"If we had woken up at 9, none of this would have happened." -J-Muff

"I wish I were fatter; I wish I had cankles." -Sharon

"That was the best dollar I have ever spent." -Derek, on buying 8 min worth of hot shower water

"(literally the second thing she said to me) You'll have to point out that administrator to me." -Mary Ellen

"The bad news is, I nearly died. The good news is, I didn't." -Ian

"(spoken days later in Vancouver) You wanna know how I got over Washington Pass? I was drunk!" -Zack


So the day we rode out of Herman Melville Campground or whatever it was called, we went to Lynden, WA. I rode with Jessie until lunch where we picked up Bobby and Christopher. The ride was beautiful (and flat!) and my company was top-notch. To amuse ourselves, we scoped out places for a naked mile (stripping down and riding naked for a mile, apparently a bike and build tradition) and ran through our Disney song repertoire for non-existent double entendre. Alas, the roads were never deserted enough for the mile, but we shared laughs over songs like "Be A Man" and "A Whole New World."

Not much went on in Lynden for me: I literally did not leave the church grounds in the two days we were there. I was exhausted.

A really funny thing came out after the days ride just as we were finishing dinner (fortunately we were done eating as per the nature of this tale). That afternoon, lunch was held in this gravel lot next to some train tracks. There wasn't much around in terms of bathrooms, save some shrubbery. Now if you know me, you know I have no qualms about dropping trow and relieving myself whereever (as demonstrated this very trip when I peed over the edge of my bike while still strattling it so as to keep immunity during Assassins). So as I was leaving, I found a prime spot and did my business.

That night, people began telling the story of Kristen's mishap at lunch. Kristen went to the bathroom at lunch, and when she came back to where everyone was eating, Maki asked, "What smells like shit all of a sudden?" Glacing down, Kristen realizes there is a huge glob of poo on her shoes. They wound up making it to a gas station several miles later where Kristen cleaned her shoe off in the sink (I feel sorry for the next person using THAT sink).

Now all along this trip, there has been an unspoken standard of secrecy about these kinds of events. It began with "No Chew Spew," the unknown rider who puked up whole potato squares on the massive hill outside Silver Bay. Then there was the person who puked in the toilet and didn't clean it off the seat the first night in Vancouver. And it was only through intense questioning that we got Dae to admit he was the one who left the giant turd in the toilet the night of Hurricane Theodore (yes, we slept right next to it). It's understandable why people don't want to divulge this information. It's proprietous to spare people these details; but more importantly, they are probably pretty ashamed of it all.

I find it hilarious. That's why when Laura, thinking the person's choice to poop their was fair game to insult since they probably weren't going to come forward, said "Seriously, though, who would take a shit right there? It's so dumb," I announced, "Oh, that was me." My other motivation was being able to have another shit story to my name. At first when Laura, Kristen and I began laughing, we were shushed as some of the guys were trying to watch a movie. Once more people found out and joined in, the movie was stopped and the room lit up with uproarious laughter for a full 10 min. Those are the moments I will treasure most on this trip.

The next night, the night before our final two days of the trip (and the eve of our crossing into Canada), a group watched Braveheart. Now back in Minot, I found some face painting crayons and made a point to take them. Because really, charity carnivals be damned, what better use for face paint than my own personal amusment? Amongst these colors was blue. If you've ever seen Braveheart you know that one of the most epic battle scenes is begun by Mel Gibson screaming at the top of his lungs whilst wearing blue battle paint. I was inspired by this tactic, and, along with Dan, painted my face the next morning during breakfast.

We burst in dramatic fashion into the dining room! Unfortunately, everyone being used to my antics by this point, no one batted an eyelash at my war paint and battle cries. That is why I decided to give a rabble-rousing speech. My topic of choice? Responsible Drinking. (in a poor attempt at a Scottish accent:)

"My fellow Bike and Builders! Today we make a sojourn from our fair homeland into Canada (mild cheering, primarily from me)! The culmination of the end of our trip and the fact that the Canadian drinking age is 19 has the perfect potential to turn the next couple days into a trashy shitshow. I don't want to have to go and clean up anyone's spew, so let's keep it classy, NUS '08. Please drink responsibly!" (charges through the room and around the building in a warrior yell.)

Just six miles from Lynden, we crossed the border into Canada. Perhaps not unsurprisingly, Canada allowed us all through, including Dan and I in our war paint and Christopher, who was dressed like a ninja.

The debauchery started right away. Along road 0, I turned to Jessie and commented, "This would be the perfect road for naked mile." "Oh," she replied, "I've got a better idea." There was a huge group of guys in the lead pack, about 400 m away. We booked it to catch them and just as we passed them with a polite, "On your left," we pulled our chamois down and flashed them. What ensued was a mooning war, as Christopher, Anson, and Dae dropped trow in front of us to reciprocate the love.

The rest of the ride was uneventful other than the busy city streets and abyssmal rain that dogged us.

The next day was the last of our ride. It was a total of 13 miles to the beach. 13 miles! Despite (or should I say, because of) all the bad weather we'd experienced in the Pacific Northwest, Craig predicted and even swore it would be a gorgeous day. "I've earned this. That's the way it works." I was pretty sure that reasoning was a bit flawed; that isn't the way it works. But low and behold, we woke up to some of the most beautiful weather we'd had all trip.

Christopher and I had been assigned to sweep, although it was no big deal considering we were to ride all of 12 miles before the group joined up to ride to the park (and ocean) together. I was serenaded by the entire group of guys. Christopher (the song's creator) was on vocals while the rest did back-up. The song was entitled, "Sweep with Me" and was capped off by Christopher's question on bended knee: "Kathy, will you sweep with me?" Later, Lindsey said in Vancouver something along the lines of "you two would make a great couple if Christopher were straight."

Anyways, we made it to the meeting place around 1 pm. Once everyone got back from the liquor store (we were buying champagne to open on the beach), we geared up and headed for the Pacific! Of course, we'd been heading for the Pacific since New Hampshire, but in mere minutes we would be there! We reached the beach, and in a fitting tribute, Arianna was the first to arrive and dip her wheels.

At that point, we did what Bike and Build NUS '08 does best: make a scene. It was a busy beach, so imagine every common person's reaction to seeing a bunch of cyclists running into the ocean, tossing their bikes into the ocean, screaming, spraying champagne, hugging, crying, taking photos, and eventually, having a cake fight. It was a wonderful feeling to know we'd all accomplished the feat of riding across the country, but even as I write this, it's still difficult for me to believe.

That night we ate out as a group at Boston Pizza (because of all the American cities known for their pizza, Boston is at the forefront). Craig, Christopher, Jessie and I had come up with superlatives for the group on the last couple rides, and Craig and I shared them with the group:

Most likely to ship their bike home and never open the box: Michelle.
Most likely to use biking across the country as a pick-up line: Bobby.
Most likely to lead a Bike and Build trip in the future: Isaiah.
Most likely to never remove his chamois: Reed.
Most likely to go to Alaska: Kim.
Most likely to continue to wake up at 6:15: Sharon.
Most likely to forget he ever did Bike and Build: Dae.
Most likely to get fat: Derek.
Most likely to die at age 30 from an anxiety-related illness: Kate.
Most likely to design a house with a panic room inside: Sean.
Most likely to amass his body weight's worth of scabs: Quang.
Most likely to become a skydiving instructor or a rap star with the same showbiz name as her road name: J-Nasty. (Jessie)
Most likely to go on a killing spree: Katrina.
Most likely to still not know how to change a flat by the end of the trip: Maki.
Too stupid to stop: John R., Christopher, Dan
Most likely to recieve knee surgery: Arianna.
Most likely to have a one-track mind once he steps off the plane: Ian.
Most likely to "get angry" on the way home: Joy.
Most likely to be a superhero: Zack.
Most likely to wear a purple suit for the rest of his life: Kevin.
Most likely to shop exclusively at thrift stores for the rest of his life: Pen.
Most likely to be mistaken for Bigfoot: Anson.
Most poorly-given roadname: Storm (Kristen)
Most likely to never get cosmetic surgery: Lindsey.
Most likely to ride across the country on a 4-person tandem bicycle with his family raising moeny and awareness for abused pandas with AIDS: Erik.
Most likely to keep his rider name: J-Muffin (John P.)
Most likely to put Mother Nature in her place: Thor and Vigo (Craig)
Most likely to have her own talk show, Shazaam!: Kathy
and last and least because he didn't really earn a superlative,
Most likely to drink as though he'd ridden the last 4,000 miles with us: Brendan Newman

The leaders also wrote a little something about every rider and shared with the group. Dan wrote mine:

Shazaam! Kathy...what can I say? I mean, really, what can I say because we have parents in the audience? You've 'crossed the line' so many times we've stopped counting. I think we have come to expect that you will do something or say something that must be kept secret from our hosts for all time on a daily basis.
As you know, I'd never been asked to Prom by anyone and never imagined being proposed to by a girl, publicly, on her knee. You changed my life Kathy, and I know you've touched others on this trip...okay, about to get innappropriate again.
You're a complex woman, always surprising us with something new. I know for a fact that at least a dozen of us saw a new side of you yesterday. You stated on your rider profile that you had stories that would entertain us for all 4,000 miles. Well I think you've helped give us stories that will entertain us for the next 40,000 at least.

By the end of dinner, about five riders had already left the trip for good. About 20 of the remaining riders made our way to a bar that night. Nothing earth shattering went on. Except for when I made out with Brendan. During the evening the riders did a "confessional" in which everyone told a secret from the trip. It was pretty subdued considering our group. The worst thing Craig could come up with was stowing away in the van one day to avoid setting tents up. For shame. Reed had a good one, though. Apparently he'd made it to some roadside attractions in Wisconsin during a rough day's ride. What these attractions were, I'll leave to your imagination, but the thought of Reed walking in wearing his chamois is pretty freaking hilarious. Zak, Michelle, and Kristen also confessed to drinking before town hall meetings. They deserve mad props for finding a way of making those things more bearable.

We spent the next day in the city and went to the downtown Salvation Army where we were given a tour by the facility's director. It was an amazing facility, definately the highlight of my trip to Vancouver. It was a great honor not only to be shown the facility, but also to have the respect of the director, whose work to help those in need far outstripped our own.

The next morning Joy, Sharon, Kate and I got up early to leave. Amidst much hugging and tears, we said our goodbyes to the remaining group and each other. Thus I boarded a plane and came home; Bike and Build was officially over.

(final note to this post: new photos have been posted in previous post)